I don’t believe in microwaves

Actually, I do. I do, however, often come across people who claim that they don’t ‘BELIEVE’ in microwaves. As if microwave is a new-age religion, in which the very belief or lack thereof, could result in you going to heaven or hell. Some of these people believed in them once. Others, just have been too scared to try it out.

The former heated way too many pasties and saw them go soggy. Some of them bit into those soggy pasties and burnt their lips and tongues. A former colleague (but still a present friend) often tells me that the main reason he does not like microwaves is because the first time he ever used one was the first (and last) time the microwave disappointed him. He was trying to make some toast. Yeah, he was too lazy to put bread in the toaster, and decided he could shave off a few seconds by throwing the bread in the microwave. Needless to say, the rubber he took out of the microwave disappointed him. Never used a microwave since, never owned one either.

There is the other group, who have never tried it, think microwaves are evil, and that it sends out evil radiation into their homes and air, and hence causes cancer. Much like the microwave antennae that bring the signals to their iPhones. Which are of course safe. And holy. And beautiful. They stick to hobs, use fires, and talk about how it is unethical to use a microwave (is it?). They force their views on to you, much like the other annoying bunch of people that exist on the planet.

What would they do, I often wonder, if I ever showed them one? Proved to them that microwaves do exist. They work. You can touch them. You can see them turn a frozen pizza in to a bubbling mess of cheese and tomatoes. They even have a window with a light on the other side, that shows the world how, through magic, and a loud hum, they cook your food for you. It even ends with a voila like ting (or beep, or buzz, or ring, or like) when it ends. The only thing that lacks, is the clapping by the audience.

Do you believe in microwaves?

(First in a series)

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