Despite coming from the Indus Valley Civilization and the culture that evolved over thousands of years, we Pakistanis do not enjoy being happy. Or maybe let us put it as we do not like people around us feeling and expressing joy in every matter of life. Misery is celebrated to a level which is not even funny, to be honest. People who love themselves and enjoy life to the fullest are considered rebellious against the masochistic standards which have been a comfortable setting for all.
Should one’s own marriage be a sad day?
It is even more frustrating when you discover that even happy occasions come laden with the same burden. Yes, I am talking about a marriage which should be one of the happiest moments of one’s life. desi brides are expected to look their best and feel their worst. Being happy on your own wedding is a sin unforgivable in one of the holiest scriptures penned down by the cultural gods. Probably, this is the reason most of the traditional wedding songs are sad from the girls’ perspective.
O God, what did I just read?
Just scrolling through my twitter before going to bed, I came across this very post on Twitter. It was a video of a happy bride enjoying to her fullest on her wedding dancing merrily to a happy song beaming with joy. Dressed up in a traditional Mehndi attire, this bride knew her moves well and was not shy to let the world know. But hold on for a second, The caption by the lady who posted this video from a private ceremony judged the happy bride to be ‘cheap’ and even asked everyone else if they felt the same.
Gladly, I was not alone. Many of us boiled together in harmony.
Luckily I was not the only one who read this problematic tweet. Thanks to the social media that everyone who has a disdain for these societal standards has now started to speak up against every norm that suppresses people from being their real selves. Many people decided to pay back this judgment in the same coin. According to them, this tweet was in absolute bad taste. The society that could not tolerate happy women was the real problem.
Something inherently wrong with society that cannot tolerate a happy woman anywhere at all https://t.co/VEPUlAKBfp
— Riasat Ki Maut⚰️ (@mahobili) August 23, 2019
It's her wedding!
Why is dulhan supposed to sit silently on her special day while everybody else is allowed to enjoy?
She is looking absolutely gorgeous!
Let her enjoy her day.
Get a life guys. https://t.co/udbxhcl6q0
— OᖴᖴIᑕIᗩᒪ ᑭᕼᑌᑭᕼO (@Official_Phupho) August 23, 2019
Srf aapko. If a woman is happy on her big day and wants to celebrate it then let her be.
The woman dancing in video looks Haseen. Masha Allah!! https://t.co/Y7LT0tysZ6
— Haji Allah Ditta (@AemunSh3rwanee_) August 23, 2019
Some people also had heartening personal experiences to share.
Abba always told the girls of the family to be happy on their wedding day as it means more than anything. My sister was the first girl of the family to do attan on her wedding day and everyone followed up after that. It's amazing and holds nothing but good memories. Shut up. https://t.co/NpnUcoVDAn
— Khan (@KakarWithOneK) August 23, 2019
Why post someone else’s personal video on social media?
According to some Twitter users, posting someone’s personal video on social media was weird on all levels.
The bride also served wedding goals for some girls who had even bigger and brighter plans to share.
meri shadi pe tou full Dance India Dance Season 11 ho ga; whoever can beat me in the dance-off can take the man and go. https://t.co/oVj3U1V0db
— ح (@civillianbanana) August 23, 2019
Let’s be happy for ourselves and the people around us!
It is both sad and funny that brides are expected to look like a dream but sob like a child on their wedding. A happy bride is a threat to everyone whose sadism is shaken by some simple dance moves. It would have been socially much more acceptable picture had the bride sit in a corner pulling her face down.
Should one’s own marriage be a sad day? Should any day be sad? If you live once, why not live every day as it comes? If you die one day, why die every other day? We need a loud wakeup call shaking the foundations of regression down. We should not only learn to be happy but also learn the significance of happy people in the world making it a better place to live. Let’s not leave it to tomorrow. Pretty please?