Desi societies all over the world (yeah, because we manage to create our own environment even when we are away from our home countries) are obsessed with marriages. The entire purpose of a desi woman’s life is defined to get married and have children (preferably the first/more boy/boys). Even the girls who are intelligent and have received professional education are encouraged to stay home and produce children. Society pities the ones who are not ‘blessed’ with this opportunity. No matter what the career and standing of a woman are at the end of the day it all trickles down to a ‘happy’ marriage and children with a little age gap.
However, with an increase in education and exposure to the outside world young people have started questioning these social standards for women. To them, the pursuit of life is not marriage alone. Women of today refuse to be objectified and want to be treated as a human, not a sellable commodity. Thanks to social media that we keep coming across such enlightened women who are beginning to question these hypocritical standards of the society. Traditionally, women are meant to be meek and submissive when being ‘presented’ to a potential suitor. Strong and independent women of today have started questioning this inequality in gender roles.
Pakistani women, repeat after me:
1. Not being married past the age of 25 does not mean you’ve crossed your expiry date.
2. Life is not a race and marriage is not the finish line.
3. Put yourself & your ambitions first.
4. Society does not define your worth; you do.
— Shanza Faiq (@Shanzaf) July 2, 2019
Today at a friend's nikah along with another woman, I became a witness in order to dispel the commonly-held belief that women cannot be nikah witnesses. (It took months of convincing the elders.) Defying the patriarchy one wedding at a time 😀
— Ailia Zehra (@AiliaZehra) July 4, 2019
When a man is expected to thrive and have a career of his own, why should a woman be confined to the traditional role of tossing round rotis and making babies? When a woman is working and presenting her share in the finances, why should there not be an equal share in the domestic duties? Why is an intelligent woman who is at par with her male colleagues not allowed to be a witness in important matters like a marriage? Why not set the priorities straight right before marrying?
But then you also come across issues such as people turning back on their words. Many times men agree to the women’s demand for equality before getting married but take a complete U-turn when in the marriage.
I like the idea, but do people really stick to this when they’re actually married?
— smacula (@smacula) July 3, 2019
Every cloud has a silver lining. Women standing up for their rights and speaking their hearts out are the silver lining this dark cloud of patriarchy has. We are probably far from the dream of having a free and equal society but the bright side is that we are on the way. It is better late than never.